Things always seem so hard. I'm not sure what we're supposed to be doing or what path we're supposed to be on right now. We've been trying to adopt for almost 2 years and trying to conceive for 5 years, come November.
Since my last blog we did not get to do our insemination. The first cycle past my surgery my doc wanted to make sure I was going to ovulate - I did and we tried on our own only to have it fail us. Our second cycle I ended up ovuating the Friday before the 4th so my doc ended up being out of the office for the holiday and my husband came home from the boat for NO reason. We tried on our own but my period came once again. This time my cycle was different, like something was wrong. I talked to my doctor about something being wrong with my progesterone - the hormone that creates lining to hold a baby in your uterus - and she felt the same way. This next cycle, after ovulation, I have to go in for a blood test and a procedure called an endometrium biopsy (yep, it's painful) so they can check to make sure my lining is good enough for a pregnancy. Who the hell even knows when i'll be doing another insemination! UGH!
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Everyone wants your money but where do YOU get the money? My mind is constantly trying to figure out what the hell we're supposed to do. Our options? Well, take our chances with ANOTHER agency and pay $12,000+, continue with our obgyn and do IUI's at $800 a pop (and that's WHEN she can do them for us b/c their office is not open like an infertility docs), or start going to St. Louis again (a 3 hr drive one way) to do IVF/ICSI. *Side tidbit, someone we just met through family has a doc in STL who just started a new clinic and offers infertility treatments at 30 - 50 % lower costs than most reproductive endorcrinologists.*
One thing we do know to stand true right now is we are supposed to start foster adopt classes in Sept. They will take 4-5 months and we will be able to adopt a child through the foster care system. Now, that's great news BUT it's not what we were trying to do. We want an infant - we want to start from the beginning. We already have a full nursery with bottles, diapers, clothes, etc because we got ready in 2008 when we started with the first adoption agency (who screwed us over).
Don't get me wrong - foster adopt is GREAT but it's not going to fully fill that void. We are extremely excited that our family will be growing and that our daughter will be able to grow up with someone closer to her age, but we also don't plan on giving up on getting pregnant/adopting an infant until we actually do. (This may take a lifetime haha)
So at this point we are leaning towards heading to St. Louis, again. It's something we said we wouldn't do because we did not get the care we paid for last time and you pay for the hopes of having a baby whereas, in adoption, you usually (in most cases I should say) get a baby for the money you are putting out.
The doctors we have seen previously in St. Louis were more centered around getting paid that they acted like their patients were cattle rather than individuals with individual stories. I'm paying THEM - not the insurance - so I expect better service. Is that so much to ask for these days? We can't catch a break with infertility OR adoption. Am I missing something here?
Anyways - from what i've heard from this family friend, this clinic is amazing. They treat patients with respect and do not treat you like "just another patient". They get to know you and they help with the financial burden. That's something we're definetly interested in.
I've already inquired about a phone consultation so maybe I will have something new to report come next blog.
Praying, as always.
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